Thursday, 16 August 2012

Obstacles on the Enlightened Spiral and How To Overcome Anger

I once wrote a book (unpublished) about remaining balanced and practicing meditation. I do get angry though; life is about getting angry and then learning a new level of patience and a new level of balance. I have noticed that as I progress, as my inner balance gets better I get challenged with more and more stress. As my love and compassion grow I get challenged by people in a more stressful way than before.

Ok so if I lived alone in the jungle or if I was a monk in a monastery I would probably be in a constant state of calm. But then I wouldn’t grow, I believe that real people with real jobs who can keep their calm in the work place or whilst managing their business are far more spiritual than Guru’s and monks.

I was reading of a woman who went to see a holistic therapist, she was into yoga, rieki and meditation. She told the therapist that she wasn’t happy because her husband wasn’t ‘spiritual’ enough. When questioned about her husband she said that all he cared about was his business and saving money for his family. Her husband was a manager of a large factory. Every day he is challenged and has a high level of skill when dealing with others, he is responsible for the livelihood of hundreds of people and he also makes enough money to provide a high standard of living for his wife and kids.

So who is the more spiritual: the husband who sacrifices his own time to put up with loads of stress for the benefit of others or the yoga wife sitting at home sipping green tea? For me it is definitely the husband.
Enlightenment is an ongoing process, it doesn’t end, it is a spiral of personal evolution. It’s not like you will reach a point where you will become like Buddha or Yoda. Anger and stress are the fuel of spiritual evoltution. We must be challenged to grow.

I am a pretty mellow guy most of the time and have spent years trying to employ meditation, positive thinking, affirmations and other techniques to control and mutate anger. Today we had some customers, they ate at the café, the bill was 400b, they said they didn’t have change, I ran to the 7 eleven to get change, when I got back they had gone, I saw them at the top of the road walking away. I ran after them and then cornered them, I started shouting at them: ‘you stupid people you must pay’. I had lost my cool and they were terrified, I snatched the ladies took 1000b from her, she was shaking and the children were crying, then I gave her 600b change, I shouted at them again and then went back to the café. When I got back my chef was counting money, what is that I said? ‘The money from the Russians’ he said!!! They had paid while I was at the 7 eleven. Oh man I feel terrible.purse and took 1000b from her, she was shaking and the children were crying, then I gave her 600b change, I shouted at them again and then went back to the café. When I got back my chef was counting money, what is that I said? ‘The money from the Russians’ he said!!! They had paid while I was at the 7 eleven. I felt horrible. I eventualy tracked them down and gave her her money back and apologized.

This incident woke me up, I realized that I had stopped practicing my inner awareness. I looked back through my diaries and re-read about how I had overcome anger a few years ago. Below is how I control and overcome anger:

The Alchemy of Anger

Once you have grown out of the Outsider stage and you have reached the sanctuary of being aware of whom and what you are it is time to return to the game of life.

The first step is to search your heart to uncover what you want to do.

Once you are on your way you will start to be challenged, obstacles will arise that will challenge you emotionally. Be sure that something will happen that will send you into a rage, the anger will not subside either and you will be very tempted to give up. This is a very crucial part of achieving your goals. The key is to recognize the anger in your body. Locate it, you will discover that it is located in the same place as your pure awareness. It is energy. Now you need to detach you identification from this anger and see it for what it is, raw energy.

As a side note I would like to say here that playing the game, with its emotional challenges such as getting angry whilst trying to achieve your goals, is an integral part of spiritual growth. This is why I believe monks and nuns and other religious devotees are actually stopping their spiritual growth by not playing the game.
Now we enter the world of the alchemist. This raw energy is like lead, we can turn this energy into the gold of psychic power. In fact without the raw energy of anger it is difficult, if not impossible; to develop the powers needed to achieve your goals. This energy can be used to give you great physical drive, which means you can do more and for longer periods. This energy can also be applied to your mental powers, it can help you uncover sophisticated solutions to your problems.  Perhaps most exciting is the fact that this energy can be used to enhance intuition, magnetism and the ability to persuade and influence others. So in a way anger is like fuel and the people who make us angry are our greatest allies, without them we could not grow emotionally and spiritually, and we would not be able to develop our powers.

So how do we turn the lead of anger into the gold of psychic and physical power? The first step is detaching from the anger and noticing that it is indeed energy in your body.
Having located the energy we are now like a man holding a powerful water hose. We need to learn how to turn on the hose and turn it off at will.

All of this depends on your ability to remain with pure awareness. A state of calm abiding, joyful and blissful that can be achieved through practicing meditation.

If you can remain with the pure awareness you can diffuse the anger, after having practiced this, try the following:

1.      Think about whatever is making you angry.

2.      Allow yourself to really feel the anger.

3.      Locate the anger in your body.

4.      Now hold that anger.

5.      Now return to pure awareness.

6.      Remain with the vibrant silent state but also hold the feeling of the energy of anger with it.

7.      You should notice that the blissful sensation that you usually get with the pure awareness state now feels heavier, like it is a lower note.

8.      Repeat this so that the feeling of anger comes under your control.

Hold onto the ‘note’ and notice an increase in physical energy, hold onto this ‘note’ for longer and longer and notice other ‘powers’ start to develop. What you are doing here is learning to recognize that anger is a an energy that arises in response to external circumstances, you are learning to detach from and gain control over your feelings, emotions, unconscious impulses and indeed your adrenal glands and the fight or flight response of your body. To do this is to evolve from an impulsive animal-like-being into an ever increasingly powerful state of awareness.


  1. Stephen, I just found your blog. Interesting as it seems you have similarly have expressed the teachings here of Demartini, and other thought leaders (we need more thought leaders reaching out). He also encourages people to see they are no more, or less, than anyone, and encourages us to be all sides of ourselves. What he talks of, he gets paid handsomely for, and this is the part of the secret that all of the top speakers acknowledge, and encourage. Find what you are good at, take action on it, take feedback, amend. Continue until you are getting paid whatever it is you desire to be paid. Such a simple formula, yet when we take responsibility for ourselves, it is so simple. Congrats on the book! It sounds like you are now part of reaching the masses who aren't aware of their own innate power to influence their lives, responses and reactions. Cool.

  2. And I do it for free! To try and make money from these type of philosophical musings in the way Demartini does would be, in my opinion, immoral. The book idea was supposed to be a kind of joke. At first I did try to sell it, for a few dollars, but after a month or so I withdraw it. One guy quit his job and emigrated after reading it! Affecting peoples lives in that way with no accountability is criminal (if you charge money for it!). I can send you a free copy if you like. about 70% of it is good, I have changed my mind about 20% of it, and the remaining 10% is utter horse shit. Thank you for reminding me about this blog entry. I need to update it!

    I've had about 20,000 hits on the blog I wrote about Demartini. He should pay me to write positive blogs about him! And if he contacted me I would probably take it down and happily write a positive blog for him. But I would still suggest to him that if his teachings were really that good he should give them to people who really need them and let them pay him back when they are rich. If they really worked imagine how much good he would do? Take someone who has hit rock bottom but who wants help, work with them for free until they are financially sound then let them pay you back. That idea would of course require trust in humanity, accountability and a serious relationship commitment. When charging money for playing around with peoples spirituality, finances and their sense of self one should be willing to offer at least those three things.

    Also:- Are you sure you meant handsomely and not exorbitantly?