Saturday, 4 February 2017

Movie Review :- Passengers = Shit, Shit, Shit.

Ok here is a metaphor for you for this movie:- take a sieve, you empty a jug of liquid through the sieve into a bowl. You now have a bowl filled with dirty brown sickly sweet water and in the sieve is a nugget, not a nugget of gold – a nugget of rancid shit.

The sieve is the plot – so many, many, many holes in it it beggars belief. The dirty sweet water is the acting and on-screen relationship between blah and blah – sickly and obvious, maudlin yet shallow, abnormal and depressing. The rancid nugget of shit represents how the viewer feels after sitting through this boring disappointing pile of horse shit.

The movie was about two things:-firstly blah and blah having sex and forming some kind of twisted relationship and secondly a scene where girl blah is swimming and the ship loses gravity, girl blah then gets caught in a bubble of water – a nice idea, visually interesting and good special effects. These two things are the whole meat of the movie the rest of it is baffling, boring, bullshit.

So to sum up = it will make you feel like shit, it is a pile of disappointing horse shit and it is, on the whole,  boring bullshit. Shit, shit shit.

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