Wednesday, 23 August 2017

What a zoo! What a circus! What a Joke!



I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, to do a lot of shadow work and go into myself and face my demons, it’s painful, it’s dark and its gruesome. One thing that comes up with me is this sense of total powerlessness. I am 38 and made my transition from childhood to manhood in the 90’s. I remember going to New York, as a 19 year old. I was studying for my degree in fine art at Liverpool University and it was almost mandatory that all first years went on the famous “new York” trip. All I remember is being like a bunny rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming car unable to move. I had always thought of Liverpool as an overgrown urban shit tip but being confronted by New York was like the famed frog who after declaring his hole to be the whole universe found his head exploding upon leaving his home. Each city block was as big as the whole of Liverpool. I walked down city block after city block starring upwards with my mouth open, dumbfounded at the size and scale of that monstrous city.


The trip was to look at art. I did. It was then that I realized that for every artist who made it into one of the big galleries there were 1,000,000, that didn’t, for every artist that made it into a middle sized gallery there were 999,800 who didn’t, for every artist who made it into a small gallery, there were 999,500 who didn’t and for every artist who made a living selling in gift shops there were 999,000 who didn’t. I was crushed by this revelation.  And this theme covered all trades, all routes upwards. And this chicken factory mentality showed in most of the shitty art I did see.

The sheer size of that city brought home just how immeasurably vast human society was. And that was just one city. We had taken over the world. Everything had been done a million times already. This was 1998 everything was a little bit grubbier and less connected by the internet and telecommunications, but basically everything was the same. It’s been 20 years since then and all we have done is continue to expand our population and consumption of raw materials growing exponentially.

Anyway it was around this time I developed this sense of helplessness, pointlessness, a sense that the “good” fight was over. Everyone I met, the hordes around me were and still are driven by greed and selfish motives. It’s a circus. A human Zoo. A Joke. I still don’t know what to do. I looked around New York, and London and Amsterdam and Paris and Rome and many, many other places, and I never saw one game that I might like to get involved with. Everything, every job I went for, every relationship I started, everything I saw around me was corrupted, the bottom line always being unfair gain at the expense of some poor sod.

Every day that goes by we sink deeper and deeper into this unrelenting materialism. We haven’t reached the turning point yet, but we must. For the past 7 years I have had this sense that it just can’t carry on. I think everyone has it subconsciously. Everyone is waiting for some kind of explosion, a global currency crash, run out of oil, third world war, a meteorite, even fucking Aliens arriving and wiping us out! Anything but this continued madness, this insanity of consumerism and materialism. Please God it cannot go on. It must stop. Surely this Saturnian psychosis must come to an end soon!

Some of us have been forced, mentally pushed and beaten into spirituality, desperately- desperately trying to find meaning in such an insane world. Some kind of escape!  But those of us who have benefited, who have studied year after year, done the shadow work, tore our souls apart and found a truth beyond the veil of materiality are in the very few, the very few and we are surrounded by robots and reptiles. Human sized Tyrannosaurus Rexes stand beside plastic synthetic robots on the train station. Prozac Zombies march down streets and sit in taxi cabs starring at little boxes. And thousands upon thousands of us who try to lift the veil go insane, drink ourselves to death, inject ourselves to death, oxycontinizing, tramadolizing, valiumizing
ourselves into oblivion or worse die a defeated pitiful death inside and become silent slaves pretending to be a T Rex or a Robot but imitating the zombies a hell of a lot better.

What a zoo! What a circus! What a Joke!

If you are fighting this outdated insane system but feel like you aren’t getting anywhere don’t give up. Free your mind from the lies and you will find a way to happiness. The lies that science has figured shit out, the lies that when you die its lights out and oblivion forever, the lies that it’s survival of the fittest, the lies that money and power are everything, the lies that the symbol is more important than the reality it represents.

Pity the rich, pity the ‘powerful’ and pity the famous they are more enslaved and more enmeshed in the thick grimy soil of materialism than anyone. Don’t envy those who are so far gone that they think themselves successful because of money or power. Real success is lifting the veil. 

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Cadmus And The Mystery of Music

Typhon the monstrous snaky giant, son of Kronos, fought Zeus and tore out his ligaments. Apollo and Pan sought the help of Cadmus who plays the flute to Typhon. Typhon is taken in with the music but Cadmus tells him his real magic comes when he plays the Lyre but he hasn’t any strings to play it. Typhon gives Cadmus Zeus’s ligaments and tells him to use them; Apollo and Pan quickly take the ligaments and give them back to Zeus and then Zeus defeats Typhon.

We are so enmeshed in physical matter, our heart center is covered by a mass of nerve ganglion, we are distracted by our body and cannot fire up our hearts. Our heart and mind become disconnected and we become despondent. Our nerves and ligaments are like Typhon preventing our minds from connecting with our hearts. Music is the best medicine and the last gift of the Gods for when we are at our lowest ebb down here in gross physical matter. Music overcomes the cluster of snaking nerves that cover our heart and sets it alight; it reconnects heart, mind and soul and we can raise our selves up spiritually.

















Monday, 13 February 2017

Buy This Original Painting For $25!

This is a one time special offer, buy this original painting of the 5 elements for just $25. It is 16 inches by 12 inches and half an inch thick - bold colorful acrylic on canvas. Simply email me at tefl.steve@live.com and tell me that you want it!



Through meditating I noticed different, almost indescribable sensations. A grounding sense of gravity, a breathtaking sense of space, a moving energy, a joy at the heart and a comfortable warmth. Then I came across the Bon Buddhist teachings on the 5 elements and applied these teachings to my experiences. I spent time going through each element exploring what they could be, how they could be encountered. I painted a small picture of each element as I internally investigated these sensations. This painting represents the unification of the five internal elements.


Art Prints

Thursday, 8 December 2016

If I was Leonard Nimoy

If I was Leonard Nimoy I would rush about the place, 
I would hold my long pointy fingers in front of me as I sprang from door to door,
My pointy boots deftly propelling me from shadow to shadow my pointy ears sleek in the dark,
I would wear an elf’s cloak like a slender bony wraith and be like Pan in the woods.

If I was Leonard Nimoy, ceaselessly running here and there,
I would fondle things, peruse things, and look under things and open cupboards,
A real nosey sneak, climbing through windows and going through draws,
I’d sniff other people’s belongings with my long sensitive nose,
trying on peoples clothes, reading their diaries, wearing their shoes.

If I was Leonard Nimoy I would be a real cheeky swine,
Quickly rushing about, hands in front, cloak flapping behind,
Stooping like a thief in the dark, arranging dinner dates, making phone calls,
Then I would vocally abuse people and adroitly cut them down.

If I was Leonard Nimoy I would use my Vulcan logic to orally molest people,
I would line people up with my stone hard glare and coldly hurl verbal perversions at them
Willowy fingers, hunched shoulders, flat black hair, pointy ears, spikey shoes, cloak fluttering behind.
Expressionless, cool, thin and dexterous, I’d cause a right awkward mess behind the scenes.





Leonard Nimoy was famous for playing Spock in the “Star Trek” series. He was an accomplished artist, expressing himself through music, poetry and perhaps best of all photography. Nimoy published numerous collections of his poems, just before he died he wanted to share the following poem:-